Codependency Simplified for Couples Therapy Clients
Codependency is a way to describe a not-so-healthy connection between people who are very close to each other. It’s like being overly dependent on someone and feeling responsible for how they feel and what they do. Although it’s not a recognized personality disorder, it’s different from other problems in your personality.
Signs of codependency can include:
1. Feeling not so good about yourself
2. Not being too self-centered
3. Having a rocky family life
4. Feeling sad or anxious
5. Feeling stressed out
6. Not showing your emotions much
Other signs can be:
1. Struggling to say “no”
2. Not setting good boundaries
3. Getting very emotional easily
4. Feeling like you have to take care of everyone
5. Really wanting to control things, especially people
6. Not being able to speak your mind
7. Dwelling on your mistakes
8. Wanting everyone to like you
9. Always needing to be in a relationship
10. Having trouble getting close to others
11. Mixing up love and pity
12. Being scared of being left alone
Now, let’s talk about healthy and codependent relationships:
In a healthy relationship, both people can be themselves while still being close. They don’t give up their own needs and want to make the other person happy. They have a good balance of power.
But in a codependent relationship, one person might forget about themselves to please the other, or they could get too tangled up and lose their own identity. Usually, one person has too much control.
So, how does codependency start?
It usually comes from old habits and emotional problems you’ve had in the past.
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